Unappreciated...

Good morning to my blog...I know I haven't written in a long while. Not even sure why I started today except for the feeling that I have no one to talk to in my life and I am so incredibly sad and frustrated I don't even know what to do anymore. I feel like I walk this earth to serve others and get no "Thank Yous" from anyone. I feel used and unappreciated in everything I do and it doesn't help that when I say I need help I am "selfish". I know I am so selfish all the time. I cook I clean I make sure everyone is happy all the time. I hardly ever bitch or nag. I basically make this house function and don't really ask for a lot in return. All I wanted was some help with Emma's birthday and I am selfish because he gets to go to a baseball game and I am left home alone yet again (story of my life) I feel like I can't live my life this way. I need an out BAD! Some mornings (like today) I lay in bed wondering how everyone's life would be if I were just gone. Would I really be all that missed? Or would everyone just be better off? I am in desperate need of some true happiness. I literally have no one. All the friends I have are not really true friends. I love them all but they are fake. 1 friend who was supposed to be my "Best Friend" pretty much has no time for me and we don't talk anymore, another who was also supposed to be a "best" friend can't truly be a friend when all she does is judge and then turn around and talk trash about you, its all the same with them all. I feel there is no one in my life i truly have. Where do I go from here? WHat can I do to find happiness? Sorry for the rant but since this is my only escape and Rachelle you are the only one who reads this I can actually express my true feelings. I need help.