Unappreciated...

Good morning to my blog...I know I haven't written in a long while. Not even sure why I started today except for the feeling that I have no one to talk to in my life and I am so incredibly sad and frustrated I don't even know what to do anymore. I feel like I walk this earth to serve others and get no "Thank Yous" from anyone. I feel used and unappreciated in everything I do and it doesn't help that when I say I need help I am "selfish". I know I am so selfish all the time. I cook I clean I make sure everyone is happy all the time. I hardly ever bitch or nag. I basically make this house function and don't really ask for a lot in return. All I wanted was some help with Emma's birthday and I am selfish because he gets to go to a baseball game and I am left home alone yet again (story of my life) I feel like I can't live my life this way. I need an out BAD! Some mornings (like today) I lay in bed wondering how everyone's life would be if I were just gone. Would I really be all that missed? Or would everyone just be better off? I am in desperate need of some true happiness. I literally have no one. All the friends I have are not really true friends. I love them all but they are fake. 1 friend who was supposed to be my "Best Friend" pretty much has no time for me and we don't talk anymore, another who was also supposed to be a "best" friend can't truly be a friend when all she does is judge and then turn around and talk trash about you, its all the same with them all. I feel there is no one in my life i truly have. Where do I go from here? WHat can I do to find happiness? Sorry for the rant but since this is my only escape and Rachelle you are the only one who reads this I can actually express my true feelings. I need help.

Where to go from here....

I am getting older by the second.....my baby is going to be a kindergartner this fall, my now 7 year old has lost so many teeth its crazy.....Where did the time go?? What do I myself have to show for it???? I want to try and go back to school this year if at all possible but unsure if it will work out.....I am tired of being home all day....i want more out of life.....My dream since I as a kid was to become a lawyer...I want that so bad still to this day but know it's unrealistic. What is a realistic dream? I am 27 with basically no college education...where do I start? Its a crazy thing......